Journal of Yeol I, Legendary Armorer and Emperor of All Dwarves
21st Galena 268
I can't help but feel like some of the dwarves around here aren't taking me seriously. For example:
As I should have expected, the dwarves I'd tasked with going through the journals of their fellow dwarves did so with all the discretion of a stampeding herd of elephants. The reaction many dwarves had to this was using their journal as a way to voice complaints and suggestions.
It's... It's not exactly the atmosphere of constant fear, suspicion and unquestioning obedience to authority I was hoping to foster. It's infuriating and I don't think stupidity can fully account for this. On the other hand, this is Gemclod, and every time I've given anyone the benefit of doubt, I've been thoroughly disappointed, so at this point I'm really not sure what to think.
24th Galena 268
The merchants have unloaded their goods. We can't trade yet because markus is extremely busy with other duties.
I'd send someone else instead, but I wouldn't be surprised if he's the only one in Gemclod who doesn't have to use his fingers when counting. And for a good chunk of our population that means wildly erroneous results.
In any case, I order goods to be moved to the depot. While we certainly have no shortage of useless trinkets to trade to the humans, most of them aren't in bins so I'm guessing that they'll be moved one by one to the depot by an army of haulers.
Efficiency!
25th Galena 268
Someone left a barrel of wine outside the walls of Gemclod, in the swamp.
Now, maybe I'm wrong here, but seeing as 1) no wine in Gemclod is produced outside, and 2) no wine in Gemclod is consumed outside, and 3) barrels don't need to be walked periodically, I'd conclude that there's no Kudustdamned reason for that barrel to be outside.
But things work in mysterious ways in Gemclod.
1st Limestone 268
Autumn! Also known as fall! Also known as "slightly less stinky than summer"!
ALSO KNOWN AS A BAD TIME TO TAKE A BREAK, MARKUS.
7th Yeol 268
Not much to do, so I've decided to rename the current month after myself.
10th Yeol 268
Still not much to do, so I decided to see if there were any valid complaints I could address. Or, failing that, complaints that annoyed me enough and were easy enough to deal with that I might actually do something about them. I found something.
CommaToes' caretakers have repeatedly complained that his shack isn't fit for a Baron and he's clearly displeased. He's especially distressed that he doesn't have a tomb, they said.
As far as I'm concerned, death by being cut into little pieces by invaders along with half of Gemclod is the most likely scenario given where he is, in which case the buckets around him could be used as tomb. Still, that apparently won't do, so I ordered a coffin made. I'll have it placed next to his bed so the burial is a quick as possible. I mean, he's been there for years and it's pretty obvious he'll die in that shack so it's already a tomb.
I'm just making it official.
Oh yeah, I also found a lead weapons rack in the old coal-fired forge we still have topside. I had it put in CommaToes' room as well since I couldn't think of anything else to do with it.
11th Yeol 268
A member of out military decided to drop his or her equipment right in the middle of the great hall. Rations included.
I'd say the outcome was predictable.
This is exactly what was missing in Gemclod. The smell of rotting cheese. If we keep this up, maybe we'll stink up the place so bad the elves won't want to siege us anymore.
I'm an optimist!
12th Yeol 268
Markus finally took some time off his busy schedule to drop by the depot. Of course I had to relieve him of all his duties and threaten him with assignment to the penal squad to make it happen, but let's not dwell on that, because the more I think about it the more furious I get, and I need a bookkeeper.
I supervised the trading because I know better than to trust anyone around here not to screw up.
I have to say I was impressed by their selection of goods, including barrels of, but not limited to: vulture blood, blue jay blood, monarch butterfly ichor, grackle blood, warthog blood, toad blood, buzzard blood (not to be confused with vulture blood), two-legged rhino lizard blood, beetle ichor and elk blood. They also had clothing far too large for any dwarf, and crappy bronze weapons.
Unfortunately they had precious little thread, and no cloth for sale, so instead I had markus buy bags or similar items that would compete with our cloth supply so that what little thread we produce can be used for clothing. We bought all metal bolts they had as well, as there's no point in wasting our metal making some ourselves when we can just trade them the piles of rings and scepters and crowns we have.
In fact, I was eager to trade them all that stuff, so I had markus buy whatever other odds and ends he could get for a good price. We ended up with seeds for various topside plants, food, booze and other things you can't really get too much of.
Sadly, even that wasn't enough to get rid of all the crap I'd ordered sent to the depot. Oh well, maybe next time. Though I have to admit the experience changed my perception of trade from a necessary evil that empowers potential enemies, to a pretty damn good way of taking everything of value they own.
15th Yeol 268
The rotting cheese in the great hall still hasn't been cleaned up. When I inquired as to why, I was told that all refuse piles were full.
At this rate Gemclod will be neck deep in refuse before the end of the decade. It is becoming crucial that we find a sustainable way to dispose of the refuse of dwarven civilization, be it rotting cheese, elven corpses or other forms of toxic waste which could harm the environment. Otherwise, what future will we leave to our children?
Fortunately, I have a solution.
As counter-intuitive as it sounds, the first step involves walling off one of the largest refuse stockpile.
Of course that's easier said than done around here.
17th Yeol 268
Merchants left, and no one got killed or even maimed by the trade depot of death. Let no one say that the Empire of Gemclod isn't merciful with those that cooperate, or at least don't touch any mysterious levers and send squads of trained animal to assault it. I'm still bitter about that.
19th Yeol 268
Beardman informed me that he's done processing the raw adamantine we had. I guess this means we'll have to dig up some more sooner or later, something I'm not too keen on seeing as it's all there is between us and the end of the world.
Anyhow, Beardman is now back to full-time animal slaughtering duty, which means that the halls of Gemclod once more echo with the sounds of dying animals. Hurray!
CommaToes wrote :-
From the Bed of the Baron...
The way I see it, we've got two problems. Lots of elf attacks, and we've pierced hell.
NOW, we have this shiny fortress to protect us from outside threats but hell is under our fort.
BUT what if we open the door to hell OUTSIDE the fort where all the elves are? That way if they elves want in, they can go to hell!
I'm a genius.
Now, where is my dinner bucket?