Intermezzo



markus_cz wrote :-

An Illustrated Tour through Gemclod
...or there through blood and back through vomit again...
by the Mountainhomes Immigration Agency

Hello and welcome to Gemclod. The emperor Yeol build a wall and towers all around the older and smaller keep. We couldn't get them all in one picture so here is just a snapshot. Note the blood! The black splotches come from a giant mole.


This is Yeol's elf corpse incinerator. Note how it is connected to the power grid. There's also an insanely complicated knot of magma- and water-tubes right below the ground, but they're not very photogenic.


The Great Hall, the checkers-room council room Emperor's office, and outlying barracks. Note the vomit everywhere! Lately the brave dwarves of Gemclod contracted a disease from the forgotten beast Nol. It's been spreading rapidly amongst the population, causing vomiting and pain under the left lung. But we've been assured it's nothing!


Minty's new hospital, cleverly hidden behind the stairs. Don't expect me to tell you how you get there! You see, you have to twist like this and slip under the stairs...


This has been here almost since anyone remembers. Built by Boing, it is a flushing trade depot. Oh, those were the days. We rarely ever use it now.


Just a small peak at the undercaves. We've walled them off and almost never go there, they're full of dangerous mud and treeshrooms. Besides, it's a winding maze and you can't get anywhere for all the trees.


The Hall of Heroes, conceived by Vox Nihili and greatly expanded by Minty. We're getting really deep in the fortress now but we'll go even deeper.


Here we are - the Emperor's throne room. It's locked behind an iron door and there is a ballista pointed at any unwanted visitor. There is a small hallway leading to a doomsday lever... and the whole throne room is slowly being flooded by magma from a magnificient magmafall.


That's it! See you next year when the hottest pictures from Gemclod arrive.




Krysmphoenix wrote :-

Mega-Statistics for after Year 268!

Internet Kraken posted:

I don't suppose you could count the number of married dwarves? I'm interested in knowing how many babies are being born in Gemclod each year.
I'll add this. I think I'll also include what each dwarf has killed. Any other requests?

First: Skills and Labors!
I was only able to get Dwarf Therapist to recognize 129 of the 132 dwarves. IF YOUR DWARF IS NOT LISTED HERE, LET ME KNOW AND I WILL MAKE SURE YOU GET LISTED. If your name is bolded in this list, it means you were currently active in the military at the time of the screen captures.

64bitrobot through Dizz: Labors, Military, and Social.
Dylguy90 through LunarTaffy: Labors, Military, and Social.
M.c.P. through Saitorr: Labors, Military, and Social.
Schneeble through Zyla: Labors, Military, and Social.

Kennel was ignored by Dwarf Therapist, and thus get's a more detailed look to make up for it.

Second: Rankings!
These dwarves have 1 Legendary skill: Anaxite (Miner), Boing (Stonecrafter), Daisyvondoom (Metalcrafter), Frajag (Leatherworker), Illarkul (Gem Cutter), K0npeito (Miner), Krysmphoenix (Glassmaker), life_source (Stonecrafter), LunarTaffy (Stonecrafter), Markus_cz (Appraiser), Mehuyael (Engraver), Nimby (Fighter), Perfect Potato (Miner), Star Guarded (Miner), Tyshalob (Carpenter), and YeOldeButchere (Armorsmith).
These dwarves have 2 Legendary skills: Minty (Fighter and Axedwarf), and Repelex (Marksdwarf and Archer).
These 18 dwarves have 20 legendary skills.

There are 71 Females and 58 Males in Gemclod. There are currently 6 children.

Mahoshonen is the saddest dwarf at 18 happiness level.
Sirocco is the second saddest at 38 happiness level.
Kikka is the third saddest at 47 happiness level.

TripleA is the happiest dwarf at 1151 happiness level. (Artifact's doing.)
brute_force is the second happiest at 119 happiness level.
LCQC is the third happiest at 183 happiness level.

Minty has the highest number of skill levels at 103.
Repelex has the second highest skill levels at 74.
Atomikus has the third highest skill levels at 66.

Dizz, SimianNinja and targus6544 are the most laboring dwarves with 16 assigned Labors each.
Octavian and TripleA are the second most laboring dwarves with 15 assigned Labors each.

YeOldeButchere is the laziest dwarf with 1 assigned labor.
Beardman, Getting Fat, Klockwurk, Mehuyael and Starguarded are the the second laziest dwarves with 2 labors each.
All children and legendary wardwarves are excluded from this statistic since they won't work anyway....slackers...

Third: Love and Families.

Anaxite and Ramc are married posted:

C-Box is their Eldest Daughter.
Lazy Gun is their Only Son
Gregen is their Youngest Daughter. Dwarfnapped in 268 by Arrogant Ones.

Sillyman and Viola the Mad are married posted:

They currently have no children.

Leperfish posted:

Still mourns the loss of his lover Enzer.

Schneeble and iamsmike are married posted:

They currently have no children.

Exercu and PaleFigure are married posted:

They currently have no children.

Getting Fat and FebreezeNinja are married posted:

They currently have no children.

Lazarenth and Krysmphoenix are married. posted:

Bob N Theadbar is their Eldest Daughter.
Tag Plastic is their Youngest Daughter. Dwarfnapped in 267 by Arrogant Ones.

Boing posted:

Still mourns the loss of her husband Willie Tomg.
Penguingo is their Eldest Daughter.
brute_force is their Second Eldest Daughter.
Chariot is their Youngest Daughter.

Fourth: Kills.

The following dwarves have slain foes in the field of battle:

Star Guarded - 1 Kill posted:

Esme Trussfence, the human. d267.

Sillyman - 1 Kill posted:

1 mountain goat.

Mr. Vile - 1 Kill posted:

1 troglodyte.

Daeren - 1 Kill posted:

1 grizzly bear.

Cythereal - 1 Kill posted:

1 voracious cave crawler.

targus6544 - 1 Kill posted:

1 giant toad.

Ramc - 1 Kill posted:

1 giant jaguar.

Fizzle - 1 Kill posted:

1 lion.

John Charity Spring - 1 Kill posted:

1 giant leopard.

Gabriel Pope - 1 Kill posted:

1 mountain goat.

Mahoshonen - 1 Kill posted:

1 mountain goat.

Bene Elim - 1 Kill posted:

H'a Gorgesweet the high elf. d267.


Potato Jones - 2 Kills posted:

Fiefiim Ringwasps the high elf. d266.
1 Jabberer.

PureRok - 2 Kills posted:

Cacame Jadedale the elf. d.268.
Taoniapieme Flameivy the high elf. d268.

Boing - 2 Kills posted:

Mielaor Lullseed the high elf. d268.
1 troll.

Clanrat - 2 Kills posted:

Aede'thi Watchdales the high elf. d268.
1 troll.

Spouse - 2 Kills posted:

Strodno Spideryseizes the goblin. d268.
1 tiger.

MortuusLupus - 2 Kills posted:

1 giant leopard.
1 two-humped camel.

Lord Joebles - 2 Kills posted:

Leadii Glitteredgranite the high elf. d268.
Ethaiteay Woodconfines the high elf. d268.

Warmbody - 2 Kills posted:

1 giant leopard.
1 mountain goat.

Vox Nihili - 2 Kills posted:

Sa Deserthelps the high elf. d268.
1 lion.

Deki - 2 Kills posted:

Lafo Grottobarb the elf. d268.
1 giant leopard.

Screaming Idiot - 3 Kills posted:

I'shaorae Berrbraided the high elf. d268.
Nidela Pulleyglossed the elf. d268.
1 grizzly bear.

Getting Fat - 3 Kills posted:

Thalu Cherishedrighteous the elf. d268.
Puthlirsnis the kobold. d268.
1 giant leopard.

Lazarenth - 3 Kills posted:

Ash'edaavae Blossomlaud the high elf. d268.
1 giant leopard.
1 beak dog.

Kikka - 3 Kills posted:

Im'amein Bowedtufted the high elf. d268.
1 elephant.
1 troglodyte.

Shark Mafia - 3 Kills posted:

Ada Sparklemortal the elf. d267.
1 troll.
1 giant leopard.

Dylguy90 - 3 Kills posted:

Nemo Pantherslap the elf. d268.
Shosa Faithcradle the human. d268.
1 alligator.

Izzy - 4 Kills posted:

Neam Satincurls the high elf. d267.
1 hoary marmot.
1 lion.
1 alligator.

Veinless - 4 Kills posted:

Naahaic Foldedbud the high elf. d268.
1 grizzly bear.
1 saltwater crocodile.
1 one-humped camel.

Ghetto Wizard - 5 Kills posted:

Roin'aroah Wilttempests the high elf.
2 giant leopards.
1 two-humped camel.
1 giant lion.

M.c.P. - 5 Kills posted:

Thelire Focuslutes the elf. d268.
Vaci Tempestreigned the elf. d268.
1 giant leopard.
1 giant jaguar.
1 unicorn.

Apocadall - 6 Kills posted:

Malignedreamed the jabberer. d265.
Alisa Drilledtwigs the elf. d268.
1 giant olm.
2 mountain goats.
1 giant leopard.

LCQC Shootriddled the Ancient Stability - 8 Kills posted:

Zilta Reignedlovers the human. d266.
Naepaepaa Playglistens the high elf. d266.
Ecafe Wispycrested the elf. d267.
Idala Embraceentranced the elf. d267.
Ami Drivewater the high elf. d268.
Nol the forgotten beast. d268.
1 troll.
1 giant leopard.

FebreezeNinja Roughlabor the Sick Strangenesses - 9 Kills posted:

Eriya Woodenromance the elf. d268.
Coce Bluntdusks the elf. d268.
In'iju Windpalm the high elf. d268.
Inaacae Savantblossoms the high elf. d268.
Naahaic Tintyphoons the high elf. d268.
So'sheabea Doorraptors the high elf. d268.
Enaisi Luteembrace the high elf. d268.
1 grizzly bear.
1 lion.

Commatoes - 10 Kills posted:

4 harpies.
6 beak dogs.

64bitrobot Dikeclasps the Admired Ruins - 10 Kills posted:

Aye Cradled natures the elf. d267.
Tal Dutybinds the human. d267.
Caraca Blazedtyphoon the elf. d268.
Kifino Windytwisted the elf. d268.
Buddedtempt the grizzly bear. d268.
Ath'a Goldseed the high elf. d268.
Br'em'a Beachwound the high elf. d268.
1 grizzly bear.
1 unicorn.

TripleA Fountainchamber the Bowels of Boiling - 12 Kills posted:

Amxu Stealphantoms the goblin. d267.
Thilu Pinewind the elf. d268
Athifi Silkfed the elf. d268.
Iah Snakessnarling the high elf. d268.
Iaheethe Finutters the high elf. d268.
Gaus'op Griffonincense the high elf. d268.
4 beak dogs.
1 saltwater crocodile.

Repelex Pagedlovers the Ambiguous Elbows - 13 Kills posted:

Olngo Guiltymenace the goblin. d264.
Snang Glacialwitch the goblin. d264.
Snodud Dungeonthrown the goblin. d264.
Nguslu Bluntedterror the goblin. d264.
Estrur Ghoulsneer the goblin. d264.
Bosa Yearlinghexes the goblin. d264.
Kutsmob Authoredflies the goblin. d265.
Dostngosp Nightmarezeals the goblin. d265.
Klulubushrimus the kobold. d267.
2 rutherers.
1 one-humped camel.
1 horse.

Dirt5o8 Sacklashes the Barricaded Fortune of Profilerating - 13 Kills posted:

Narena Embracedbasins the elf. d268.
So'sheabea Velvetytame the high elf. d268.
On'il'e Handleskunk the high elf. d268.
Shiemiu Waterdrummed the high elf. d268.
Reeyiat Scalyreleases the high elf. d268.
Reeyiat Desertdrilled the high elf. d268.
Abaigiaxa Playripe the high elf. d268.
Shufustangus the kobold. d268.
1 giant mole.
1 giant toad.
1 saltwater crocodile.
1 giant cheetah.
1 giant leopard.

Atomikus Channelgalleys the Magical Crowd of Eagles - 18 Kills posted:

Epeve Blazessounded the elf. d264.
Iraath Tresspraises the high elf. d266.
Daithaa Dawnsquashes the high elf. d266.
Sut Creamsadore the human. d266.
Lebeyu Packeddell the elf. d267.
Yawo Swelterram the elf. d268.
Ereyi Chastehide the elf. d268.
Fale Raineddragons the elf. d268.
Lapama Bridlehill the elf. d268.
Siga the forgotten beast. d268.
Jeise Womanwinds the high elf. d268.
Daac'e Coveredshark the high elf. d268.
Emaediamia Typhoonriddles the high elf. d268.
1 lion.
1 giant olm.
1 mountain goat.
1 elephant.
1 one-humped camel.

Teledahn Stirredhames the Glittery Certainty of Keys - 31 Kills posted:

Atu Devilstroke the goblin. d265.
Nako Curseshoved the goblin. d265.
Eli'raew Glossdreamed the high elf. d266.
Sidaya Rootpetals the elf. d267.
Salo Wipehorn the elf. d267.
Aspuz Hatewaves the goblin. d267.
Eenaalaeh Wirelions the high elf. d267.
Irene Passford the elf. d268.
Zeiyaaidaithe Lyricalseals the high elf. d268.
Kiwan Flutetapered the human. d268.
Enure Denrace the elf. d268.
Dipane Satinylimb the elf. d268.
E'seiriish Secretiveseason the high elf. d268.
Zia Heatherglitters the high elf. d268.
Lo'niasaa Stylepaddles the high elf. d268.
Ethaiteay Embracedstyled the high elf. d268.
1 troll.
1 leopard.
2 one-humped camels.
4 unicorns.
1 giant leopard.
1 mountain goat.
2 elephants.
1 giant lion.
1 giant jaguar.
1 giant tiger.

Zahrkon Paperdashed the Snarling Uncertainty - 36 Kills posted:

Themiyi Immortalityford the elf. d267.
Sidaya Coastalrasped the elf. d267.
Snodub Sinfulpaged the goblin. d267.
Zolak Malignedskunk the goblin. d267.
Olngo Sinfulcounsels the goblin. d267.
Estrur Starvehates the goblin. d267.
Song Devilfilled the goblin. d267.
Iwa'w Packedgrouped the high elf. d267.
So'sheabea Bulbdaub the high elf. d267.
Daithaa Fangscale the high elf. d267.
Atha Blockedraptor the high elf. d267.
Xoerai Fordadmired the high elf. d267.
Odiohi Budflare the high elf. d267.
Apasi Bronzerivers the elf. d268.
Thelire Ivyspeeches the elf. d268.
Renuna Birdcombined the elf. d268.
Tosace Pantfur the elf. d268.
Aasa Yellbudded the high elf. d268.
2 lions.
1 troll.
2 tigers.
1 two-humped camel.
2 horses.
3 beakdogs
2 mountain goats.
2 grizzly bears.
1 unicorn
1 alligator.

Nimby Paintordered the Oaken Container - 46 Kills posted:

Aniedaesh Intensetufts the high elf. d266
Zia Relieveshell the high elf. d266.
Ho Stylesslide the high elf. d266.
Oda Patternembrace the elf. d267.
Enure Wargloss the elf. d267.
Stozu Malicecounselled the goblin. d267.
Ngom Evilleagues the goblin. d267.
Ngom Sprayedmenaces the goblin. d267.
Utes Hexlights the goblin. d267.
Asno Wastedplagues the goblin. d267.
Aseanoi Wondrousweb the high elf. d268.
Atha Strappingdroplets the elf. d268.
Famine Tribeboars the elf. d268.
Ule Championglade the elf d268.
Axa Gullyage the elf. d268.
Cona the forgotton beast. d268.
Ex'edai Boardcoast the high elf. d268.
Enaisi Deathmirth the high elf. d268.
Eeriake Springcouples the high elf. d268.
4 trolls.
1 lion.
2 tigers.
1 cave crocodile.
6 beakdogs.
1 hoarymarmot.
6 mountain goats.
1 giantleopard.
1 one-humped camel.
1 giant jaguar.
1 tiger.
1 alligator.
1 giant lion.

Minty Starcrypt the Moral Shrine of Courage - 126 Kills posted:

Xuspgas Badslings the goblin. d265.
Nako Safetyterror the goblin. d265.
Ihiine'v Strivefulmeadows the high elf. d266.
Caime Songrade the high elf. d266.
Batow Leopardduties the human. d266.
Naahaic Poetsplashed the high elf. d266.
Furi Nosebudded the human. d266.
Ain'ecii Glossedthunders the high elf. d266.
Lii Trampledseal the high elf. d266.
Ex'edai Snarlingbrim the high elf. d266.
Fe'teoree Leaguetree the high elf. d266.
Da Holyraptors the high elf. d266.
Etheic'o Flightlistened the high elf. d266.
Itaopeona Leanislands the high elf. d266.
Taihoenau Sunsdreamed the high elf. d266.
Leadii Rhymedthundered the high elf. d266.
Pila Machinetufted the elf. d267.
Lema Lovetempest the elf. d267.
Renuna Mothslid the elf. d267.
Iru Dunesroast the elf. d267.
Oda Entrancefishes the elf. d267.
Ithithe Riddledflight the elf. d267.
Caraca Crabaction the elf. d267.
Saba Whitegrowl the elf. d267.
Bilalo Clearingwaved the elf. d267.
Mimale Sablemother the elf. d267.
Pila Whipincenses the elf. d267.
Adela Wavebridle the elf. d267.
Snamoz Ghoulbolt the goblin. d267.
Stozu Veiledthieves the goblin. d267.
Kutsmob Ruthlessmeshes the goblin. d267.
Olngo Scourgeyears the goblin. d267.
Yoothoidoo Pristineidols the high elf. d267.
Zia Fragrantthunders the high elf. d267.
E'fia Narrowheathers the high elf. d267.
Unaici Roadbasin the high elf. d267.
Ash'edaavae Tressedoils the high elf. d267.
Doa Paintfair the Bejeweled Cloud the cyclops. d267.
Ei Mothergloss the high elf. d267.
Ath'a Masteredmother the high elf. d267.
Athuaha'to Sunnyburied the high elf. d267.
Fueheovi'i Fernrack the high elf. d267.
X'ejaine Fragrancerush the high elf. d267.
Ozud Dreadfetid the goblin. d267.
Ehaeno Lakehatchets the high elf. d267.
Ami Glenfrenzy the high elf. d267.
Caime Fellacted the high elf. d267.
Fainaes Shooteagle the high elf. d267.
Ade Rocksgroups the high elf. d267.
Cacame Fragrancecherishs the elf. d268.
Lafo Apesfogs the elf. d268.
Salo Mortalcobra the elf. d268.
Vadane Lashpears the elf. d268.
Apasi Gloriesadored the elf. d268.
Pili Fordmusics the elf. d268.
Imere Bearddesert the elf. d268.
Ihiine'v Glosstell the high elf. d268.
Eehaat Spearjungle the high elf. d268.
Ade Spiresmile the high elf. d268.
Taihoenau Sablenamed the high elf. d268.
Eehaat Urgeembraces the high elf. d268.
Ela'niosh Desertspine the high elf. d268.
O'sh Brandpines the high elf. d268.
Iraath Catsafety the high elf. d268.
Aegoanoi Gazecherish the high elf. d268.
1 troll.
6 lions.
8 tigers.
11 grizzly bears.
3 giant leopards.
2 grimelings.
1 giant bat.
1 elk bird.
1 gremlin.
1 giant olm.
1 cave crocodile.
3 one-humped camels.
2 unicorns.
3 beak dogs.
2 mountain goats.
1 hoary marmot.
2 elephants.
1 giant jaguar.
1 horse.
2 two-humped camels.
1 giant cheetah.
1 giant eagle.
2 giant tigers.
1 alligator.








Thadius wrote :-


My journey to Gemclod.
As written by Thadius, Mechanic.

"Blue."

The human nodded vigorously. "I dunno what it was, but the High Ones said they could not long stand against the axe that was made of sharpest, brightest blue."

The dwarf sighed. "So I suppose you'll be wanting something extra for your trouble."

The human trader shook his head. "Just your usual fine wares for mine, if you'd be so kind."

The dwarf sighed again. "Let me tell you something, friend. You travel a route. You journey from Gemclod to me, then to five other dwarves, two male, three female. One's a farmer, one's a brewer, and the other three are masons and stonecrafters. They live by trading you knickknacks for supplies that you buy from other humans and do not sell to Gemclod. You then sell many of these knickknacks to the humans again for more supplies."

The human was dumbstruck. "How! How do ye know? I never told ye!"

The dwarf motioned to the -idol- hung on one of the human's beast-of-burden's bags. "Engravings in dwarven, they tell the stories. Ye canna read them, but I can. And I've been sending messages back with my mechanisms. Hidden, but there."

The human cursed. "And why do ye tell me now?"

The dwarf went into his home for a moment and came back out with arms filled with mechanisms. "I trade to ye now all that remains of my work. I need a mule and enough ale and meat to last until I can travel back along your trail to Gemclod."

The human scowled. "Why should I trust your mechanisms? You've told me of the messages you hide in these things."

The dwarf grinned. "I've just inscribed the dwarven runes for all that you've told me. You take these mechanisms, hang them on your beasts, and every dwarf you find will trade you everything for a beast of burden, burdened down with food and ale. You could do a roaring trade that way, be rich and fat for the rest of your life."

The merchant grinned at the thought of this new business opportunity. "Friend Thadius, you've got yourself a bargain. Take this Mule, these five barrels of meat, and these three of various boozes. The path to Gemclod is a long one, but travel south, keep a sharp implement on you, and you should make it."

The two parted ways, then. Thadius to go to Gemclod, and the human? Well, we're not interested in him...




Thadius wrote :-

I intend for this to be a two, maybe three, part thing showing what the average dwarf has to go through in order to find Gemclod. To wit, I am playing on peasant mode. This means I get to choose, essentially, one attribute to 'max out' (In this case, I added it all to strength.) I also get to choose a very small set of skills. (Hammerdwarf, shield user, and swimming.) Let's see if I die!



In search of Gemclod, you've found elves!

My name be Thadius. My last name, Olonrigoth is really more of a reminder of my profession on my journey to Gemclod.



My human friend had told me to go south to find Gemclod. He also gave me a mule that was burdened with meat and ale. Bloody thing ran off not five minutes after he left. It was a good thing I thought to take some meat off it and make an aleskin, but I hadn't got to fill the thing with ale yet. I guess it'll hold water just as well.

Oh, wait, you're wondering about the hammer, aren't you? Well I'll tell you. The most important tool in the mechanic's arsenal is in fact a hammer. All the others can be made by bashing two rocks together, or sometimes they are the two rocks! No, a hammer is the most important tool a mechanic could possibly need. Mine just happens to be a steel warhammer. I was going to ask for such a thing from my human friend, but it turned out to be unnecessary.

One day I was out gathering stone and I tripped over a boulder I hadn't noticed was there. As I lay on the ground, I guess one of the gods must have taken it as a sign that I was praying to them. For lo, the heavens did open, and a hammer did fly from on high and embed itself in the ground near me. I picked myself up and took the hammer, turning it over. It was smooth on one side, but on the other, I could make out runes. They read as thus:

MY NAME IS PATSY, HAMMER OF KINGS.
LOOK ON THE CARNAGE I LEAVE AND DESPAIR.

Ever since I've kept it near me. Anyways, enough about the hammer. I've a journey to make. First thing I have to do is see who lives here.



...Armok preserve me. High elves. Okay. Back away slowly...



Okay, whew. South, my human friend said. Right. Not an issue. There's another settlement just up the road, maybe I can get better directions to Gemclod from there.



Or...not. He could just be an unhelpful High Elf. Okay, I can do this. It's not like I don't have any supplies or directions or clues at all.



...The hell? This elf is following me. Okay, I'll stand on the bridge and talk to him.

"High elf siege engineer! What is it you seek?"

"YOUR DEATH!"

Oh hell. Quickly I pull my hammer up and strike at the elf. His right leg happens to be closer to me, so I swing for that. He punches me hard enough that I know my liver will feel it in the morning. I go for his upper body next, striking him repeatedly there. He tries to counter, but he can't focus through the pain. He's gripping his body with his right hand, I decide to smash that. The elf screams and passes out for a moment. I take my chance.



The elf is no more. I rummage through his pockets and find a newsletter distributed to all High Elves, detailing the location of Gemclod and what every elf is expected to produce so that it may be destroyed.

The location is to the far north-east.

...That ratbastard human.




Thadius wrote :-

As it turns out, I didn't die!



Where in the world is this bloody fortress?!

After having slain that elf, I began to head north-east. For some time. But then I found this problem.



This is only one part of the mountain range that spans from the north-west to the south-east. I cannot pass it by walking over it, for some reason, so I have decided to go around.

The next journal entry is some months later.

Well the mountains have finally turned to the north. I might be able to find my way over after all. But what's that...strange feeling going down my spine?...



ARMOK PRESERVE ME. Okay. There's got to be an easy way. I'll bash his leg first and- He fell! He's writhing about in agony! I think I kneecapped him! Ha! Sasquatch aren't so bad after all!

Some months later, again.

You'll never guess what I found!



Directions! Helpful humans that don't want to kill me! If all goes well, I should be at Gemclod within the month! Finally I may put my hammer to stone again!

So what can we draw from this test run? Well the main reasons immigrants might not come in large quantities or often are twofold. First, their current civilization, where my dwarf spawned, has been razed and taken over by high elves. Mostly. I think. Anyway, any dwarf that gets created had either be able to defend itself, or learn very quickly! The second reason is the civilization is half the world away, on the other side of a huge mountain range. By the time any dwarf actually gets there, the Sasquatches, beak dogs, and other assorted nasty creatures have had a go at them. And in case anyone was wondering, yes, that is the extent of what I did. It was a peaceful enough walk up to Gemclod, once you got around the mountains. Seriously, the biggest hazard in this world was the geography. I'm kinda disappointed. I thought a Voxmod game would have, I dunno, High Elves raining from the skies in full battle gear to kill me.