Dwarf Fortress: Gemclod, let's all get killed and eaten

Journal of “Mr. Vile” Organboots, Fortress Appraiser.

The tunnel to Roressa Locicirole is almost finished! Get the military down here on the double! We are not having another breakout of Nolio while I'm in charge, so the second that tunnel breaches the cavern I want the entire military ready to...

...uh

Where'd it go?

That's weird. The only way to get into this cavern apart from this tunnel would be to...

...swim.

Oh fuck. Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck.

BACK TO THE FORTRESS! Everyone onto the roof, women and Appraisers first! Send the military to the Stairs of Certain Death!

This can't be happening. I wanted a fight down in the caverns where we could wall it off if we had to. The legends are full of stories about these things wiping out entire fortresses overnight and it's practically inside already and I'm going to die and

Huh. That was underwhelming.

Now then, Pozzo. I found a lovely new office for her that I'm sure she'll love.

It's spacious, has some great views of the chasms, and best of all pets are allowed!

But then she knew that already.

But you know, it hardly seems fair to have her commute all the way here and back every day. But that's fine, I can deal with that.

She even gets her own table and chair, so she doesn't even have to come back to the fortress to eat.

I don't want to give her the impression I haven't thought this through, after all.

_{Watch out for that spiii-iiider!}

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Migrants have arrived!

Gah, newbies! I have no idea what to do with them, so I've just got them all hauling shit around except Factory Factory, the poor bastard.

See, while I was at the front gate Minty asked me to fill the missing positions in the main squads with fresh recruits. Normally I'd have told him to fuck off and bother someone else, but firstly I saw what he did to that snake, and secondly he was fingering the blade of that axe of his as he said it.

Godsdamn, but he scares me.

Anyway, I just pointed him at the first group of dwarves I saw and ran for it the second his back was turned. Better them than me. I found out later that one of them was Factory Factory and another was Vox Nihili, one of the founders of this festering shithole. The last one was some guy named Knockknees that I've never heard of. Vox says his skill with the axe is legendary back in his mountainhome, so I guess I chose the right patsy.

Hey, I guess that ghost got done with Donkringel. About fucking time, I had enough of the projectile vomiting with Nolio and that rotating head thing she had going on was just unnerving.

Still, at least unholy spirits have good taste.

Hold on.

Do I hear what I think I hear?

Because if I hear what I think I hear then that can only mean...

Elves!

Such grace! Such elegance! Such poise! They're just so...

so...

...numerous.

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Mr. Vile wrote :-

InwardChaos posted:

After effects of the massive booze party. Everyone still has beer vision, and they can only see fuzzy outlines. A fuzzy outline Troll looks exactly like a fuzzy outline Dwarf.

(I really don't know, but it sounds reasonable)