Armok rejoices
Mid Hematite (Part II), 267, Early Summer
I ordered every available squad to meet me outside. Once I stepped through the gate, I ordered the Gilded Men and Captain of the Guard Boing’s Regal Mechanism to form one arm, and Teledahn’s New Paints and Vox Nihili’s Crystals of Legend to form another. I requested Repelex to mass her archers in the center. We then marched on the horde of goblin lancers.
After the initial volley of bolts, I ran ahead and around the enemy. Predictably, they followed me, thinking they would score an easy kill. Through my training and my armor, I made sure not a single joust of theirs connected. Meanwhile, the two arms of our forces closed upon the goblins.
To say the plan was foolproof would be a lie; every plan falls apart the moment it sees battle. Most of the goblins were distracted, but a few heard the war cries behind them and were able to wheel their beakdogs around. Brave Breadmaster, upon seeing that they were about to bring their spears to bear on our troops, leaped out and tackled one of goblin riders off his mount. They rolled into the mud in front of another beakdog, which pounced upon Breadmaster’s exposed neck. Even with a beakdog pinning him to the ground and tearing out his jugular, Breadmaster continued to swing his hammer and bash the monster. But the swings came slower and slower, and finally stopped. Brave Breadmaster was the first soldier to fall under my command.
The beakdogs’ vicious maws were more fearsome than the goblins, whose imprecise thrusts usually glanced aside when they managed to land a strike. The goblins guidance, though, made the beakdogs awesomely effective. But Repelex caught on quick, and soon the Knives were sniping the riders above us, leaving the goblins dazed and the beakdogs fearful.
*
As it seemed like we were gaining the upper hand, more trolls leaped at our backs.
This was too much for Tehkeen, who ran. He obviously did not see or care where he was running, as he ran away from safety.
Brave Nombres, not wanting to see the trolls cut down a dwarf, pursued Tehkeen’s harassers.
*
The rest of the squads held their ground, but things did not fare better for us. The goblin knights, who rallied over the troll reinforcements, redoubled the press on our lines. But even those that fell gave superdwarvenly effort. It took three beakdogs to hold Anchors down and a goblin spear to finish him off.
I saw Firos get stabbed with a spear, use it to lever the wielder to the ground, and got stuck with several more before he finally fell.
But we held, and eventually the goblins began to believe we would never fall. One by one, they turned and ran.
*
Before I turned to the trolls, I glanced to see how Tehkeen and Nombres were doing. They were still alive, but they appeared to have attracted even more trouble.
All I could do was hope that their instinct and training would guide them well.
*
I also saw Brainspawn choking on her own blood on the stream banks. I would learn later that this had been her first battle, but that she had been so tenacious that she attacked the enemy even after she fell.
I even saw RZApublican, who had been so eager for revenge at being used as bait that he had crawled to the battlefield.
*
I heard cheers ahead, but they weren’t dwarven cheers. I knew then that Nombres and Tehkeen were dead.
The trolls fell. I charged the dwarf murderers. Today, there will be no hostages.
*
I was blinded by rage. I didn’t even give orders. The soldiers followed me. The captains ordered them to, despite them knowing better. They were unprepared for the swinging goblin hammers that met us. Green Qvark didn’t stand a chance. The wave poured past us and hit the Knives of Domination. They had little experience in close combat, so it was no wonder when TheWhaler dropped almost immediately.
I did not realize any of this. All I saw was red. All I heard were screams. All I felt was pain. Pain that wasn’t mine.
*****
When I woke, the only goblins I saw still standing were running for the treelines, and those were gleefully pursued by bloody dwarves. I saluted one of the captains that rushed by, and collapsed from the pain. Pain that was mine.
markus_cz wrote :-
The crossdressing elven princess from the previous battle inspired the thread to talk about the peculiar dwarven fashion sense.
Gabriel Pope posted:
Yeah. Uh, guys, I don't know if you noticed but just about every single male dwarf in Gemclod is wearing a dress at this very moment.
Shadowlyger posted:
Artificial Stupidity. They're wearing them because we made dresses. 
Alternatively, a dwarven dress could be something entirely different.
Gabriel Pope posted:
I'm pretty sure the only difference is that dwarven dresses are even more fabulous.
Face it. The elves may call their ruler a princess, but Gemclod is a fortress of queens.
MikeJF posted:
Well, as everyone knows, all dwarves are scottish, so let's just call them kilts and move on.
Or I can just have a mental image in my head now of all the dwarves dressed in dresses. Pink dresses. With puffy bits and lace.
That's gonna be there for the whole life of Gemclod now.
TildeATH posted:
Death in battle is never treasonous. Anyone who wants to hole up in a cave and live happily ever after gnawing on cold plump helmets and drinking water out of the Crazy Well and never fight another battle because some poor dwarf may break a nail, well... they're not fit to wear a Gemclodite dress, in my opinion. They may as well be one of those slacks-wearing elves.
Markus posted:
It's worse than I thought. I've loaded the latest save and everyone has been wearing a dress. Absolutely everyone. Well... except K0npeito. But he's always been the weird one.
EDIT: Oh no, I made a mistake! K0npeito IS wearing a dress. Phew! I was almost afraid we had a traitor.
Chance II wrote :-
Dwarven royalty outfitted in battledress.
TildeATH wrote :-
ShadowedFlames posted:
That's one of the things that doesn't match me, afraid to say. And given that I have no graphically-inclined artistic talent, I fear I can't draw anything to supplant that.
I took the liberty of giving you an adamantine dress. I think you fill it out nicely.
