The Journal of Hameron Backspace, Rusty Novice Fish Dissector
23rd Galena 274
Well journal, it's been quite a trip! After Boatvessels burned down in that unfortunate volcano eruption, I was seriously considering giving up hope. But now, our migrant train is headed for the last bastion of Dwarven civilisation; Gemclod herself! Everyone one of us has heard the tales of their great heroes standing up against the Arrogant Ones, and probably has more than a few of the Gemclodian stone crafts that were selling like hot plump helmets a few years ago in their pack. Hopefully they'll have room for a few of their fellows in there!
24th Galena 275
I can see a glow on the horizon! It must be the fortress beacons! We're getting close, journal!
25th Galena 275
We've, uh... we've come across something. Cleretic said it might be a superweapon built in the finest dwarven tradition. But, to be honest, it more resembles some kind of... like somebody tried to make a big stone dwarf? But they had no idea of scale or proportion, so it just looks like a malformed puffer fish... I don't know, journal. There's also this strange smell in the air, like
HOLY FUCK
26th Galena 275
SO WE FOUND THE SMELL
NO NEED TO WORRY, IT'S JUST THE CORPSES
Swear to Mondul journal, there's bodies stacked either side of the road. Almost as if they were decorations, or trophies, or something. Jesus, the smell. There's goblins, and elves, and bits of beak dog, it's just horrible. And, from bad to worse, they aren't even the source of that ungodly stench. That's coming from the FUCKING MAGMA FLOOD. Blocking off the entrance to the fortress. Swear to Mondul. We've also found something labelled the... the Elfcinerator? I have no idea anymore
27th Galena 275
Okay, the main entrance is a no go, but we managed to get across the magma and found a stairway... up the side of the wall. The outside wall. There's a stairway on the outside wall of a besieged you know what never mind
Every door in has been blocked off.
28th Galena 275
We're actually taking a vote right now as to whether we should try to break through, or try somewhere else. Maybe the map was wrong, and we found a different fortress run by fucking lunatics. I mean, just looking around, we can see a big lake down there where a courtyard should be - filled with crocodiles of course - and every time I look up there's a hideous duck beehive thing looming over us. What kind of schizophrenic mason could've designed this place?
Well it's not all bad, journal. Further in the sky I can see what looks like some birds, circling lazily in the sky. At least there's some life which can thrive here.
29th Galena 275
DEMONS WORM DEMONS
NOT ACTUALLY BIRDS
if youre ineterested the vote is unanimously in favour of getting the fuck out of here as fast as possible and going further west for nthe REAL gemclod
i think the demons hear us
smell us whatever
i hope they havent
who were these chucklefucks
fucking demons swear to modulk
(The remaining pages of the journal are filled with more barely literate expletives which abruptly cease mid-sentence.)