Journal of Yeol Deabo Tcher, Armorer and Weaponsmith AND OVERSEER of Gemclod
1st Granite 268
Finally! The five years I've spent in this swamp have paid off.
Though I was kind of hoping for a bloody coup, to be honest. It would've rid me of any potential troublemakers right then and there.
Well, there'll be plenty of time for that later, and it's not like there's anyone in this fortress with a spine and the means to oppose me. I just wish I could have seen the looks on the rest of the "council"'s faces when I made that speech.
Well, I'm off to bed, there's ruling to do!
2nd Granite 268
Ruling is harder than I thought. Or, rather, ruling this place is.
This is a mess. Years of incompetent management have not served Gemclod well. I tried going through our inventory, but it's clear that there's so much stuff everywhere that it'll take more than a day.
Also this morning I went outside on the gatehouse to survey the aftermath of the last battle, and saw that Toffile was lying in a pool of her own blood, screaming for help.
I suggested that someone might want to help her eventually.
5th Granite 268
Still busy with the inventory. Most dwarves are still handling the aftermath of the last battle, and there's plenty of miscellaneous work to be done. The towers aren't completed yet, either.
ObMeiste, one of the doctors, has finally decided to go pick up Toffile and bring her to the hospital.
A five day wait for someone who got both her feet cut off if a tad excessive in my opinion, but hey, I'm not a doctor.
As a preemptive measure, I've transfered Toffile to CommaToes' squad. I really doubt she'll actually survive, but if she does, she's not going to be fighting much from now on.
7th Granite 268
Took a break from looking at the inventory today. Instead I went to visit my dear forges. Which are STILL cold because some people decided to funnel magma somewhere else.
Somewhat concerning was the banging on the door that leads to the caverns.
Really, really loud banging, and had the door not been thick stone, I'm pretty sure it would have burst by now.
Hopefully it's nothing.
9th Granite 268
Visited the hospital today. Toffile was sleeping in a bed, with ObMeiste in the same room. I asked her what she was doing:
"Diagnosing."
Really? What is there to diagnose, you quack? Her feet are done, there, diagnosis done you moron.
Gemclod's best and brightest.
12th Granite 268
Went to the surface today. A few dwarves were practicing dodging as part of standard militia training.
It would have been commendable if it wasn't being done next to the gigantic fucking pit that makes up Gemclod's entrance. Turns out they hadn't been assigned an area for practice as half the barracks Minty commissioned aren't ready yet. I've fixed that, since it seems no one else in Gemclod can do anything without killing themselves in the process.
I mean, how dumb do you have to be?
15th Granite 268
One thing I discovered looking at our stockpile records is that we do not have any adamantine left. We have raw adamantine, but none that's processed, and on top of that it's been walled off, along with access to the vein. I can't remember why, and there probably wasn't any reason in the first place. So I gave the order to unseal the tunnel.
The miners were uneasy when I did. I think they're hiding something. I'll need to question them later.
Looking at records, I discovered that the dwarf named "Beardman" is the best strand extractor in the fortress, and so I assigned him to permanent strand extraction duty. But he made some, uh, very persuasive arguments as to why he should be allowed to keep his job of butcher as a side hobby.
What the hell was he doing with that beak dog leg anyway? And where did he get just one leg and not the rest of the carcass? And why? There's no meat on those!
I'm going to sleep.
17th Granite 268
Saw a miner whose bone was sticking out of his thumb today.
I told him he might want to go to the hospital and get that looked at. He told me it's been that way for a while and that he's used to it now. Fine, be that way. That's what I get for trying to be friendly.
20th Granite 268
The masons are being lazy, and the towers still aren't complete. The miners, on the other hand, are out of work.
So I had an idea: There's a hill to the east of Gemclod. Why build a tower, when we can simply hollow out the hill and carve fortifications?
The elves will never see it coming. By the time I'm done with this place, there won't be a single spot in this entire swamp where they'll be safe. The fact that the hill is a big chunk of magnetite and hematite is a nice bonus, too.
In less heartening news, I've decided to go take a look at the stockpiles myself instead of relying on records and found this:
I still haven't figured out if I'm more puzzled as to how you get a full barrel of blue jay blood, why we have a full barrel of blue jay blood, what we'll do with a full barrel of blue jay blood, or who would want a full barrel of blue jay blood. Well, ok, I'm pretty certain a possible answer for the last one is "Beardman", but he doesn't count.
24th Granite 268
Elven scum came to kidnap children today. It was first sighted by masons working on the south-east tower. Fortunately, nimby was close.
It didn't take long for her to catch up.
The actual "fight" is barely worth mentioning. nimby broke one of its leg with a swing of her hammer. The elf mouthed a curse and was quickly silenced when nimby crushed its head, causing it to burst like a rotten plump helmet.
That's pretty much it for today.
Oh yeah, I guess the TWENTY migrants who arrived are worth mentioning. Like I don't have enough work already. Well, I guess I can't blame them for seeking out my enlightened rule.
Epee Em (aka "Beardman") wrote :-
Blood Barrels! Brains! Battle!
This new Overseer deposed the Council and accused Minty of improper conduct in regards to the military. This barely concerns me, I was placed in a squad but saw no activity due to my efficiency at converting the dead into things of use. The new Overseer, however, found records of my "previous work with raw adamantine processing". I was confused. I had never touched the miraculous substance before. Confronting the records keeper, however, revealed this to be an error on my part. I had filled out the immigration form and checked the box for "strand extraction".
IDIOTS! Who in their right mind would name adamantine processing that!? I thought it meant strand extraction in the sense of tendons and ligaments! We do have several crossbow dwarves here and all, I thought it was relevant. Bah. Out of spite for the system, I agreed to work with it, it isn't like there's a superior candidate.
I made it clear that I must be allowed to continue my work as Butcher of Gemclod. Adamantine threads between my fingers is a primal joy, dwarves would beg for this honor. Yet, I find the most satisfaction to be in cleaving and chopping through the flesh of beast after beast. It is an indescribable joy, those who have known combat will be familiar with a similar feeling. Fools. Battle is too frantic and dangerous to oneself to truly enjoy the beauty of a creature's insides. When a creature has been claimed by death and turned over to me, it is then and only then that every last internal inch can be savored, cut apart and displayed like the finest work of art any smith can have ever wrought. And then, with another slice, the beauty of death becomes food and supplies.
I have heard of the legendary Nol and Keihao. My hand can only grip my cleaver tighter in anticipation, I see what I must do. The adamantine I process will enable those soldiers, who face death and bring death so readily, to slay the beasts. To have that mythical flesh beneath my cleaver, to clean the bones and separate the organs, to flay what twisted flesh remains and turn such terrifying legends into meat and materials for Gemclod! I can think of no greater joy. The next time I see the Overseer, I will thank him for this opportunity.
After all, I do adore those blood barrels we've traded for. They make such lovely decorations in our stockpiles, the Overseer has excellent taste. I think I like this dwarf, he knows his priorities.
Sirocco wrote :-
YeOldeButchere prodded the thing gently with his foot.
'So... what is it?'
'I don't know exactly,' Charlie72 replied, 'but I've decided to call it a piano. One of Boing's daughters found it out in the swamp. Preliminary tests indicate-'
'Is it a weapon?'
'No, sir, I don't believe so. But if I touch it it goes "plink"!'
He touched it. It did indeed go plink.
'And if I touch it here it goes "plink" lower!'
Again he demonstrated.
YeOldeButchere contemplated for a few moments. 'Can we build more?'
'According to my calculations that would only be possible if the entire world were to be deconstructed and rebuilt in a new image. We would have to be as the gods themselves.'
'I see. Well stick it somewhere it'll do no harm, I'm going for a drink.'
'But sir! I've written up some plans for potential construction in hypothetical parallel meta-universal constructs and-'
But YeOldeButchere had already left. Charlie72 sighed, scrunched up the plans into a ball and threw it carelessly over one shoulder. No one appreciates science.
=====
In building_custom.txt
code:
[BUILDING_WORKSHOP:PIANO]
[NAME:Piano]
[NAME_COLOR:7:0:1]
[WORK_LOCATION:3:2]
[BUILD_LABOR:CARPENTER]
[BUILD_KEY:CUSTOM_SHIFT_P]
[BLOCK:1:1:1:0]
[BLOCK:2:1:1:0]
[BLOCK:3:1:1:0]
[DIM:3:3]
[TILE:0:1:7:7:32]
[TILE:0:2:0:0:32]
[TILE:0:3:7:7:32]
[COLOR:0:1:6:0:0:6:0:0:0:0:0]
[COLOR:0:2:6:0:0:6:0:0:0:0:0]
[COLOR:0:3:6:0:0:6:0:0:0:0:0]
[TILE:1:1:201:7:32]
[TILE:1:2:186:32:32]
[TILE:1:3:200:7:32]
[COLOR:1:1:6:0:0:6:0:0:0:0:0]
[COLOR:1:2:6:0:0:0:0:0:0:0:0]
[COLOR:1:3:6:0:0:6:0:0:0:0:0]
[TILE:2:1:79:0:32]
[TILE:2:2:186:0:32]
[TILE:2:3:79:0:32]
[COLOR:2:1:6:0:0:0:7:0:0:0:0]
[COLOR:2:2:6:0:0:0:7:0:0:0:0]
[COLOR:2:3:6:0:0:0:7:0:0:0:0]
[TILE:3:1:177:240:32]
[TILE:3:2:177:240:9]
[TILE:3:3:177:240:32]
[COLOR:3:1:6:0:0:0:7:0:0:0:0]
[COLOR:3:2:6:0:0:0:7:0:6:0:0]
[COLOR:3:3:6:0:0:0:7:0:0:0:0]
[BUILD_ITEM:5:LOGS:NONE:WOOD:NONE][BUILDMAT][CAN_USE_ARTIFACT]
code:
[PERMITTED_BUILDING:PIANO]
[PERMITTED_REACTION:PLAY_PIANO]
code:
[REACTION:PLAY_PIANO]
[NAME:play piano]
[BUILDING:PIANO:CUSTOM_P]
[SKILL:COORDINATION]