The Bejeweled Cloud Breaks
Obsidian 267, Late Winter
I received word that the young Lazy Gun has taken his first step to dwarfhood. I sent him a toy axe so he may begin regular play.
*****
Alarms had been raised as a huge creature lumbered our way. This road may be proving a liability; allies usually come from the east or west, while only enemies have approached from the south. Locomotive Breath, who was patrolling the road, was the first to spot the monster.
The Knives rushed to their stations on the battlements, while the rest of the military began forming ranks in the Entry Hall.
What followed was undoubtedly one of the greatest acts of heroism I’ve heard, and a testament to how a little discipline can turn around even the most disagreeable dwarf.
Locomotive Breath, realizing the monster would reach the gates before we fully prepared, risked his own life to charge and distract the beast. It accepted the dwarf’s sacrifice, but became confused that only one would attack. Thus, we gained more precious time as the cyclops meandered through the underbrush, looking for more dwarves.
Content that it was alone, the colossus continued it’s path up the road towards our fortress.
While the line stood at the gates, waiting for the right moment, a civilian walked passed us and out the doors. Upon seeing the towering creature heading her way, the civilian abruptly about-faced and strolled right back in.
With raised eyebrows, I asked the peasant what possibly could have compelled her out at a time like this. “Aye, t’was my nap time,” she replied.
We met the great beast upon the drawbridge, and quickly surrounded it.
It swung its great arms about, colliding into Veinless’s shoulder with a sickening crunch, sending others flying.
I saw an opportunity, and made a quick swing between the blows. The creature’s insides followed my axe. The monster fell forward, a wild swing knocking Vox Nihili away. Teledahn, upon seeing the creature distracted into gathering its own organs, leaned over and hacked a foot away. The behemoth fell like one of the palms, and before it hit the ground, I cleaved its head in two. Its great weight fell, cracking the steel of the bridge, and it moved no more.
I looked at my companions. Izzy, despite being flung, was completely unscathed. Vox Nihili only suffered a few bruises. Veinless, though, lay on the ground, clutching his shoulder. He proudly warded off any attempts to help him up, though, insisting he could walk to the hospital himself.
As for Locomotive Breath, his bravery would not go unrewarded. I gave the orders for him to receive that which he so desired in life.
******
I have received word that the magma weapon’s reservoir has finally filled. Though I will not be able to use it, it stands ready for the future overseer to unleash upon our enemies.
******
A message came to me that our civilians’ training is paying off; without military assistance, they chased off two more monsters!
******
The miners have finally crafted a tunnel to the brook. Now, the piping that serves as the new hospital’s automatic cleaning system will be fully functional.
******
Good news and bad news are brought from the abandoned depths; one of the Regal Mechanisms, on regular patrol, reported that my suspicions are correct, and the magma levels in the forges are on the rise again. However, the heat must have attracted our new friend from the caverns, as the guard could hear a great scraping right on the other side of the locked door!
******
While on swamp patrol, Zahrkon stumbled upon an elven scouting group hiding atop a nearby hill.
Even though he was better equipped than the elves and their obligatory human servant, Zahrkon called for the help of his comrades. It was entirely unneeded; the elves were taken completely by surprise by the sudden yell, and were quickly cut down.
64bitrobot, having heard the call to arms, rushed up the hill to assist Zahrkon. He collided into the human running the other way.
*
Upon hearing that they had been found out, a contingent of elves to the south leaped upon a passing civilian.
The New Paints redirected their attention to this group, and I gave orders for the Gilded Men to assist.
The citizen was a miner who had decided to get some fresh air. His attackers were a group of Arrogant One swordselves and the ever-present human slave.
The dwarf, understandably, turned and fled. Nearby, Toffile was the first soldier to meet this new threat.
At first, it look like their skills perfectly matched, as each shrugged off the other’s blow. The elves do not fight honorably, though, and this elf instead focused on hacking off poor Toffile’s feet.
Amazingly, this only caused Toffile to redouble her efforts, as she parried every blow above the belt.
*
The fleeing miner turned and saw he was only being pursued by the cowardly -and unarmed- human.
He knew then that the Arrogant Ones’ strength lay only in their fear. He turned and fought.
*
Toffile continued to fight off the elf’s attacks. She did not lose hope, she could hear that rescue was on its way.
Repelex tried to repel Toffile’s assailant with a wave of arrows. Two elves checked my sprint to save her. This did, however, leave an opening for Nimby.
Nimby charged, sending the full force of her hammer swing into elf’s stomach.
When the elves about me dropped, I noticed a hand reach out and grab some trinkets off the body.
I had better things to worry about than battlefield looters, so I charged another elf.
Izzy and Ghetto Wizard, though, thought it would be an easy kill and charged. Repelex, worried that the soldiers had misplaced their priorities, quickly dispatched the vermin.
*
In the eastern parts of the swamp, Dirt5o8 was continuing his patrol, blissfully unaware of the carnage on the other side of the stream. Unaware, that is, until more elves sprung on him.
These elves were different, though. They had brought a goblin thrall. Still unarmed, of course.
The Arrogant Ones showed that they consistently overestimate themselves; once Dirt5o8 showed he was going to put up a fight, most of the elves scattered.
Dirt5o8 eventually became frustrated trying to land a hit with his opponent’s pompous dancing and twirling, so he thought he should put a stop to it.
Bene Elim and I began rounding up the rest of the elves.
*
Far to the north, however, one elf had slipped past as and was pursuing civilians, thinking they would be more like the easily terrorized dwarves he was used to. They weren’t.
Akilles, CAT ASS now, Vlad the Eater, and Mahoshonen turned on their hunter.
It was true that they could not all survive this encounter, but the fury with which they fought might make the elf reconsider its chances.
*
Back south, we were in the middle of regrouping after scattering the ground with elven entrails, when a group of pike elves erupted from the reeds.
A horrific thought flashed across my mind: if they would be so bold to attack us with our full numbers, they must have endless hordes hiding within the bushes. My fear was unfounded; they only ran by us, fearing we would do the same to them as they watched us do to their brothers.
Their fear, on the other hand, was well founded.
As we gave chase, we struck one elf after another. Battle had not been their only aim, as elven slavers also fled from our approaching steps.
*
Mashonen, enraged by the fall of his brothers, let loose a deafening war-cry. The elf, realizing the disastrous situation he was in, looked about for his comrades, and upon seeing none, finally broke.
As the last elf disappeared into the forest, the warmth of the sun pierced through the great slate above. It was the promise of the end of the great dwarven winter.
******
My last act as overseer is one final improvement to the military. While I understand the importance of symbolic figures, having a dwarf who is barely conscious as commander of our city’s military could be disastrous. Thus, I have created a new rank, one which is inferior to Commatoes's, but will take on all the responsibilities.
I have named myself Lieutenant Commander of Gemclod.
******
To the new Overseer:
Congratulations on being seen as capable of leading our people to a greater tomorrow by the best and brightest Gemclod has to offer! I would normally have given you a much more detailed report to ease you into the functioning of our proud fortress, but I’m sure you know that the Arrogant Ones saw fit to give me a proper send off instead. Thus, you’ll have to make do with this, along with the usual reports. Be happy, for it is more guidance than I had. And, of course, you can always direct any questions to me during the next council session!
First, you should be sure to appoint yourself manager.
Second, there is the issue of your lodgings. While your office can be taken care of by the council room, there is some question as to who should get the rooms after Bad Munki’s in the Hall of Wisdom. I’m perfectly happy remaining where I am and letting you take the next, but if you think it better to keep continuity in our histories and allow me to have the next, while you have the one after, you will hear no complaints from me. It is up to you, Overseer!
Third, I shall give you a brief run-down of our defenses. Currently, the Gilded Men and the New Paints trade off patrols outside our walls. Inside, the Regal Mechanisms keep the peace. The Knives of Domination practice on the roof, to prevent sun sickness and so they can mobilize quickly to their stations on the ramparts. The final military squad, the Crystals of Legend, have been in training to explore the deep. Commatoes' Fair Axes serve as a retirement for all critically injured soldiers. Any other squad is merely a part time militia groups.
Our first line of defense, apart from our soldiers, is the gates. They can be open and closed by the appropriately marked levers in the Great Hall.
We also have a trapped-line hallway on level -1, but I have never used it, so you would be better off obtaining its details from another overseer.
Finally, we have a newly installed magma weapon. This was suggested by Captain of the Guard Boing to destroy any besieging armies, and designed by the Great Architect Markus, so you’ll know it works. If you find yourself overwhelmed by the enemy, merely close up the fortress and pull the lever just outside of the council room. I was assured this would remove any and all problems.
Oh yes, the Shorter than Some Memorial Hospital’s construction was interrupted during the month’s clashes. It’s completion is simple, though: merely finish up placing each lever for each room and linking up the gates. Each room should be fully marked. However, only Room 1’s Gate and the Well Reservoir Gate levers are currently connected.
I believe that’s all the pressing concerns. Like I said, if you need any more help, I’d be happy to talk with you at the next council. Again, I apologize for the lack of thoroughness in this report, but I’m sure you understand.
Best of luck, new Overseer!
Minty Virmomuz Tumamokun Samam
Lt. Commander of the Gemclod Combined Forces
GEMCLOD SAVE HERE Click Me
Also, I suggest you get Dwarf Therapist, especially since I unspecialized a ton of dwarves near the end to keep the idle at 0.
Sirocco wrote :-
Bene Elim wrote :-
Spring, The Infirmary.
Fuck you , Minty. Fuck you.
I got pulled into his office over the TagPlastic incident and got berrated for not stopping the Elf. I explained that I couldn't have moved any faster because I wasn't strong enough to run in armour. I suggested (for the umpteenth time) that I probably wasn't soldier material. He disagreed and told me that I should take some armour off.
So I had to take off my chainmail shirt and yes, I did move faster without it. The patrols had been quiet and so I thought I'd be ok until a sane overseer stepped in and let me go back to the stills.
But the Elves had other ideas. I hung back at the gatehouse as the rear guard and let the more experienced members of the 'Paints' go to the killing (urgh). Then Minty comes charging through behind me and forces me out onto the battle field. I tried to escape, but he kept right along side me all the way into the Elven lines. I can barely remember anything after that, but I know I didn't kill anything, and I'm not even sure I hit anything, but something did get me. So now I'm laid up here in hospital with an enormous gash across my upper arm. The chainmail would have saved me. Fuck you, Minty.
Yeol got the Overseers job today, so perhaps he'll get me out of the military, or at very least give me some of his wonderful armour. A sword would be nice too...
ZeeToo wrote :-
Journal of ZeeToo Zalissazir
Man, I thought Munki was gonna be a good pal to hang around enjoying squares with, but he's seriously startin' to creep me out.
Maybe I shouldn't have given him the stuff I wouldn't touch?
Mahoshonen wrote :-
I don't want to sleep anymore. When I do, the battle keeps replaying in my mind.
After my strange mood back in Boing's reign, I thought I was destined for great things. But no one was interested in my musical. Or they would show interest, but suddenly decide they need a drink, needed to go to sleep, or get taken by a mood of their own. Sirrico never seemed interested, saying he didn't see the point in all the dancing. Without his aid, my project was doomed from the get-go.
Then Minty came to power, and said we should all get military training. Progress was slow, but it gave me a sense of purpose, a belief that even the common dwarf like myself could become glorious fighters.
The Winter of 267 proved how foolish such a thought was.
Winter brings the monsoon to the swamp. It was raining hard. Over the din of rain my compatriots and I could hear the din of battle, but it seemed far away enough from us. Then we saw a figure approach. A tall, lean figure with pointed ears. An Arrogant One! Remembering our training, we girded for battle.
The training in the dry, well-illuminated barracks could only prepare us so much for combat under real conditions. The muddy swamp ground made each movement more laborous, and keeping track of the enemy's blade was difficult in the shadowy undergrowth of the swamp. But most importantly, we now faced an opponent that meant us greivous harm. I was determined to stand firm and make my ancestors proud. At least I cannot be faulted for my effort. But the Arrogant One was far more skilled then us. Then I saw Akilles fall, with a swing of the elf's blade. The horror didn't register at the time, but by the gods I was just talking to him a few minutes ago, and now he was dead. Vlad the Eater was the next recipient of the elf's fury. Despite his wounds, he kept fighting until finally passing out in a pool of his own blood. Then the Arrogant One turned his attention to me. Fear gripped my heart, but the fear of what would happen if I tried to run won out, and I held my ground.
After trading blows, something primordial awoke inside me. I heard a monstrous roar and my vision turned red. And then, nothing. Just a red cloud, the roaring in my head, and the smell of blood. When the cloud cleared, I was alone with CAT ASS now. His eyes were wide, but what he saw, let alone what I was doing, he didn't say. Did I defeat the elf? I know not. All sounds of battle were gone.
Eventually, Minty and his sqaud arrived. Minty patted me on the shoulder and said he was proud of me and CAT ASS. I smiled weakly, but inside I did not feel proud at all. Akilles and Vlad were dead. I was covered in bruises. As I walked back to the fort, I saw Toffile, both feet missing and in a pool of his own blood, but somehow still alive. He gave me a thumbs up.
Now, whenever I sleep, I see the battle again. I see Akilles fall dead. I see Vlad bleed out. I see the Arrogant One staring at me with murder in his eyes. I don't want to talk to anyone. How can they understand what I went through? Everyone loves to talk about how tough and dwarvenly we all our, but that battle showed me something different. Now, even booze cannot dilude the horrors.
CAT ASS now!!! wrote :-
Found Mahoshonen's Journal lying in an "inconspicuous" hiding place under one of the tables in the Great Hall. That jealous, plotting slut! I have never witnessed undwarfier behavior than hers, getting in a wee scrap with an Arrogant One and then acting all scared and traumatized. Now she's hugging everyone she meets and sobbing uncontrollably whenever someone so much as looks at her. She even claimed me and Toffile are men, the audacity! She's just jealous of our beautiful, normal noses that are completely unlike the horrible stick Armok stuck in her face. I once heard someone describe Mahoshonen as "immodest" - what a fat joke, that, that... attention-whoring fly is more transparent than a clear glass window.
Armok help the Male who actually falls for her tricks!