Journal of Yeol I, Legendary Armorer and Emperor of All Dwarves
13th Sandstone 268

Not much to report, except that one of the farmdwarves has been acting strange lately.



Maybe we'll get a really big plump helmet out of this.


14th Sandstone 268

Guess I was wrong. Or maybe it'll be a big plump helmet made out of solid opal or something seeing as he claimed a jeweler's workshop.


18th Sandstone 268

It wasn't a plump helmet.




Though honestly I'm pretty sure that you can find plump helmets worth more than this.



For the record, The Lamented Sword is worth ~1,100,000, or according to markus, 1/5th of the total fortress wealth. Not that I'm bragging or anything.


25th Sandstone 268

Finally.

It's complete.





The elfcinerator! Pull the appropriate lever and the pile of corpses gets a lovely magma shower.

Let's demonstrate. Klokwurk, who did a pretty big chunk of the work for this project, gets the honor of pulling the lever.



IG-NI-TION!



You'd think that the entire thing would have instantly turned into a gigantic pyre, but I guess it's humid around here or something because it took a while for smoke to appear.



But then it sort of didn't spread. Which sucks. I'll try again with more magma later.

At least the smell of burning elves is covering up the stink of the swamp so I'd say it's a partial success.


28th Sandstone 268

Tried again today. The only thing that caught fire is an elf's severed arm. Disappointing.

I mean come on, I realize there's a lot of blood, but there's a layer of dry grass underneath that should catch fire the moment you look at it funny with the scorching sun around here.


1st Timber 268

I'm a little concerned that the elfcinerator is leaking magma.



It might have set some grass on fire in a heavy traffic area, and I can't see anything good coming out of this.












TildeATH wrote :-

I don't know whether to be proud or hide in shame...

quote:

If magma is all we've ever known
Then it's easy to miss what really goes on
But I've seen miracles in every way
And I see miracles everyday
Oceans filled with zombie stingrays
Commatoes dreaming of a golden bouquet
We don't have to drink booze to avoid the sky
And know that's a miracle that terrifies
Look at the microcline, gabbro, bauxite,
And everything chilling behind adamantine
Deadly magma, rain, dust and frogs
Long neck giraffe demons, and cats and dogs
And I've seen eighty-five dwarven haulers
All in one room, throwing up as equals
Dwarves in love using spores, making kids
Koala demons that will eat your eyelids
Kudust, Morul, and a god of trade
Blue troll blood shot across the glade
Ballistas, catapults
Plant a little seed and a fortress grows
Rivers of blood and Munki's throne
Every dress you ever wore as kids
A scalding swamp but it never rains
filled with elf intestines and goblin brains
I fed a toe to a beak dog beside the brook
It tried to eat me, he ran away
And ores are magic, pure and clean
You can forge it and smelt it or stitch with adamantine

Magma is all magic
(Are you a believer in miracles)
You can't even hold it
(Well, John Dough tried and we know what happened to him)
it's just there in the tube
(Are you a believer in miracles)
Pure motherfucking magma Right?
This shit'll blow your fucking mind
(Once it cooks through your skull)

Magma is a lot like love, expressed to the nobles with feeling
It fills the room, from the floor to the ceiling

I see miracles all around me
Stop and look around, it's all astounding
Channels, ramps, syndromes, chert
Fucking bridges, how do they work?
And I don't wanna talk to an architect
Y'all motherfuckers lying, and getting dwarves pissed
Forgotten beasts, worms with feathers
A thousand high elves, dying together
Penguingo loves his mom, and trapssss and shit
Time in this fortress, taking nothing for granted
I seen a jabberer chopped up and die
Miracles ain't nothing to lie
brute_force looks just like Boing, a bit
And Penguingo looks just like a crazy...
Miracles each and every where you look
And nobody has to stay where they put
This world is yours for you to explore
there's nothing but miracles beyond your door
This Dwarf Fortress is your invitation
To witness that without explanation
Take a look at this fine creation
And enjoy it better with appreciation
Demon Roaches, ghosts, mule tallow roast
The wonders of the world, mysteries the most
Just open your mind, and it ain't no way
To ignore the miracles of every day

(Are you a believer in miracles)
Magma everywhere in this bitch
(Do you notice and recognize miracles)
it's all around you, you don't even know it
(Until you start burning to death) Shit's crazy
(Do you notice and recognize miracles,
So many miracles, the magma miracles)